A wakeup call and struggle after a blood clot

One year ago I was admitted to hospital suffering a blood clot in the brain.
That is something I had never imagined myself ending up going through.
I went to take a shower like any other time. 
When I came out. I look towards the living room to see if my flat mate (room mate) was up.
Just as I was to say something funny I could not get the words out correctly.
I finally got the words "I think my mouth needs to wake up".
We both knew something was wrong and she ended up calling 112 to reach the emergency services team and report the incident. Shortly there after 2 emergency responders was standing in my living room.
Being rushed to the nearest hospital emergency room. While laying on the ambulance stretcher in the middle of the hallway. Doctors and nurses all around going back and forth being asked to what had happened. Various vitals being checked.
Needles to say it was a scary experience. Not knowing how severe it was and what was going to happen.

The mandatory observation stay.
Now I have never been one to like the idea of having to stay at a hospital.
Now I was here. No way of changing what had to happen. Had to come to terms with all that needed to happen. 
Night 1 being woke every 2 hours to get blood pressure measured. If the entire prior days ordeal was not enough to get one tired this was.
Night 2 being woken up every 4th hour to same procedure as night before.

I came out of hospital with such a drive. "It is time for a change" I said to myself.

Getting a new diagnose
As I was sent home to recuperate. I had to come to terms with having to learn to relax. Pull the plug and let time go by in order to come back properly.
During that time the phone rang and as I answered I was asked by a person in the other end if I would like to be tested for a sleep disorder.
I said "Sure". Several weeks after I showed up and was fitted with various monitoring devices and was informed I had to sleep with it the night over and return it the next day.
It was not a good night sleeping with that on. So I was convinced that this would be showing in the test results.
Nevertheless, days later I was informed that I was tested positive for Obstructed Sleep Apnea (OSA).
That diagnosis has hit me harder than any other. I basically was told. You might think you sleep well and good. You do not. 
Since then I have compared that moment to when Neo gets to choose between the red or the blue pill in the Matrix.
To this day I do not know if I would feel better not knowing.

A year after
I am still convinced I am feeling and living with the after effects of what happened.
I am convinced that those effects I have to live with for the rest of my life.
Whenever there is a social event I have to plan ahead to ensure I use the energy wisely in order not to feel like a no show.
This is not helping when my personality type is also not the one getting energy from being super social.

The everlasting battle
During the year I have worked with myself. I want to understand the choices i make.
My logic self knows all of the wrong choices and what are right choices.
However I still observe myself at times falling back into old and bad habits.
I know not to beat myself in the head over it - but always be mindful and work on breaking the old habits and create new ones.